I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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