dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
