hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And then he peed in my hair
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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