I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize