I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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