Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
