batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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