thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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