How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
