i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
