I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
