Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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