new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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