He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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