I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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