Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
