if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
