dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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