dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
