Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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