If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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