Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
