dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
