So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize