Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think your dad took our porno
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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