Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
