We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.