How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.