threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?