Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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