i think my tv is drunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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