she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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