umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
