omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
