Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
