Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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