We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
