You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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