ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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