Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
