god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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