If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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