ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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