Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
