It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
