She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
