To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
