we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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