If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
