My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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