Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize