So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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