ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
