i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
