Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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