Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
