You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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