There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
