Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
