Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
