So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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