This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
