I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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